This Claims To Be Good For You

So I guess coconut water is the new savior of the world's people as its been enthusiastically endorsed by a few celebrities last week. Before this it was pomegranate juice, kombucha, green tea, etc. There's a long list of miracle drinks that I wholeheartedly purchase from a health market for $4.99 a pop so that I can live forever.
Anyway, the Coconut water doesn't taste bad and it claims to: cure cancer, cleanse your digestive tract, increase circulation, rewind time, make people love you and live until the end of time. So try it.