Chopsticks That Work For Everyone

I dated this guy one time that didn't know how to use chopsticks... at all. Now, I'm not sure how you get to your late 20's without this kind of skill but he had no clue. Since we were at a "real" Japanese place, they didn't put silverware on the table at all so we got to be "that table" that asks for silverware while the waitress rolls her eyes at us and other tables give each other that look. At least I think they were.
Once we get the silverware, he wants me to teach him to use the chopsticks so there's another huge production that involves food falling on the floor, cursing, him giving up, and me skipping dessert and leaving right after dinner. I'm getting these chopsticks and keeping them in my purse in case anyone needs them.